Kristina Fugate is hosting the Catch Me If You Can blogfest today! The idea behind this blogfest is to answer the question, “Does my WIP catch people’s attention right away?” Participants post up to 550 words from the beginning of their WIP, and then visit other participants’ blogs as well. Click the button above for to sign up and find out about the prize.
I hope you enjoy the opening to my YA paranormal BLINK. I am way open to feedback. So, whether you like it or not, please leave a comment. Thanks!
***********Based on feedback, I will change the opening paragraph.**********
April 22, 2009
Lexi Ripley listened to 80’s music when she killed. She wasn’t always a killer or a fan of 80’s music, but when her Uncle Lucas disappeared, everything changed. Especially her. After endless hours with the Golden Peak Search Team, Lexi needed a return to normal or in her case, time with her favorite dog-walking clients. Peanut, the Anderson’s great dane, greeted her at the door. Blue licked her ankles until she scooped up the chihuahua. Dizziness made her sway when she straightened. Peanut edged closer, both dogs whined.
“Oh, you guys. I’ve only been gone three days.”
“Lexi? That you?” Mrs. Anderson asked.
“Yeah.” The dizziness grew heavy, promising another headache. They’d been happening a lot lately.
Mrs. Anderson peeked from the kitchen. “Didn’t expect you ‘til Monday.”
“I need a break from my time off. Mind if I walk the ddd—” Pain trapped her in a white abyss of agony, yanked her right out of reality into a dream world. Mrs. Anderson’s muffled voice hovered near, but the soft whisper of wind pushed it away. Lexi stood on mountain land. Where am I? How’d I get here? Paw prints four times bigger than Peanut’s pockmarked the blanket of snow. A bear? No, something bigger. More menacing.
“Lexi, can you hear me?” Her dad’s voice floated next to her.
Blush-tinted mounds surrounded her on all sides. The possibility of what lie under those human-shaped piles and what stained the snow beneath in fading shades of red made her queasy. She focused on the crisp air and its chilling caress, instead. Were people supposed to get goose bumps in dreams?
“Lexi, open your eyes, Honey.”
She wanted to answer him, but curiosity anchored her on the mountain. She sensed the area, the tracks, and the heaps of snow were more than hallucinations, but that didn’t make sense. Normal people don’t have visions. Behind her, the sun sank below the horizon. She rubbed her hands together to warm her numb fingertips.
“Alexandra?” Her dad sounded scared now.
Big snowflakes swirled on the icy breath of wind. It burned her cheeks and stung her eyes, making her squint. Snow crunched under her feet and lightened the mounds to a pale pink. The tracks darted from one snowy mound to the next. When the distance between the piles grew, so did the paw prints, as if the creature started running. Lexi jogged between trees whose branches drooped under the weight of snow.
Twilight sank into a bluish nighttime glow. The full moon lit her path until she reached a massive pine tree, which towered over her. She knew it’d be in there, the creature she tracked. The creature with feet four times bigger than Peanut’s. A dangerous thing. Her skin prickled. She should go, follow the sound of her dad’s voice to safety.
A frigid wind swooped down, stole her breath. She fought not to lick her chapped lips as she shoved her hair out of her face. The tracks doubled over each other like the creature had paced there. Lexi rounded the pine, searching for a spot big enough to squeeze under the branches, but stopped at a huge patch of ground edged with splotches of red. Blood. Lexi covered her gasp. Did she seriously want to follow a bleeding animal under a tree? She took a step back, yet still studied the paw prints. Something didn’t look right. Human footprints, not animal, led from the patch to the tree.
Thanks for reading! If you have a lengthy critique please email it to me at: writesbymoonlight at gmail dot com